I have been in love with this man for the last year and a half.. we dated a long time ago.. but he treated me like shit. Ignored me, we had sex once, before we started dating, then he wouldn’t touch me. I don’t know why I still loved him. But I couldn’t help myself.. I was head over heels in love with him. But despite my love for him, I broke it off with him. I was tired of doing everything for him just to be treated like I didn’t exist. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him out of my mind. As time passed I fell into a depression I didn’t think I could recover from. I started to abuse myself. I would cut myself. My wrists, my legs, stomach and back. The adrenalin I would get from cutting would help me feel alive again. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t feel anything. So I did it more just to feel again. It felt like my heart was gone, I was empty. I had even considered suicide.. I don’t know what I was thinking.. I had never felt so horrible in my life. crying myself to sleep every night. I got really tired of being so alone, so hopeless. I used to think relationships were pointless, why had this one gotten me so down? I picked myself up off the ground. I needed to do something.. I put on a fake smile, washed away my tears, and I moved on. It was not easy.. I still cried every night, and I still cut. But I wasn’t putting my life on hold anymore. I taught myself to be strong. I Hardened myself, to the rest of the world. I was miserable. But then he contacted me again.I didn’t know what to do, should I talk to him again? or should i be mad because of how he treated me. Well of course I was still in love with him, so I couldn’t ignore him. and we got to talking again.. and eventually we ended up hanging out again. at first it was just to smoke p’z, and then one night watching a movie, he put his arm around me. I literally think my heart stopped for s few seconds i was so excited. but I didn’t let him know that. I contained myself, so that I wouldn’t look desperate. But I guess he was disappointed with my no reaction, so instead, he used my lap as a pillow, wrapped my arm around him, and then held my hand. And at this point I am completely freaking out on the inside. but again, I don’t show it. so again continuing to watch the movie ignoring his obvious advances. he eventually got fed up, sat up beside me, held my hand with one of his, and with the other, took hold of my chin, turn my face towards him and kissed me. I can’t even explain how happy I was. he explained to me how stupid he felt for how he treated me before, and that he would do whatever it takes to make it up to me, and that he loved me. I didn’t know if i should trust him our not, but I thought it would be worth a shot. so I gave him a second chance. And since then it has been four very happy months together. I couldn’t be happier. We love each other very much. so the moral is, shit gets tough, but if you keep your chin up, good things will happen.
Reblog & Win: The Dark Knight Rises
The Dark Knight Rises is finally hitting the theaters and there probably isn’t a better time than right now to hook you up with some awesome Dark Knight swag from artist Drew Wise.
If you are looking at this and thinking “WANT NOW!” then you are in luck. A few limited edition artist signed carts are available at the Yetee Gallery for $30 bucks!
One winner will be selected July 27th @72pins
Why be the rose when you can be the thorn?
cover art to National Comics: Rose and Thorn #1 (releasing 26 September 2012) by Ryan Sook
via DC Comics
Kris Hofing, age 16, 5”5’ 115 pounds. Black and red hair blue eyes.
I live with my parents, though it feels more like an assylum. my mother figure is an absolute bitch. And I know I sound like any other teenage girl, but it’s not like that. I have been mentally and physically abused since I moved in with my parents the second time when I was nine. untill I was seven I lived with my grandparents, they took me in when my mother figure didn’t want to accept her new responsibility. they treated me as one of their own. in the time i lived with them my mother figure married a man whose name I will not use. And after they married she figured she could take care of me now. well it failed. after three months of living with my parental units, I was taken into foster care. from there I was bounced around from home to home. two weeks here, three days there. nobody really wanted me. I was a handful apperently. and at my last foster home, I was beaten by the drunken father. he hospitalized me for two months. I was unconcious for two weeks. and when I woke up I was surrounded by familiar faces. while I was in the hospital my grandparents fought for custody. but unfortunatly custody was granted to my mother figure. and at first things were great, I was rather skiddish of people but they put me through the therapy I apperently needed. but not long after the therapist’s gave up hope, so did my parents. I became the target of all my mother figures hatred. the names she called me, useless, waste of breathe, mistake, bastard, ect, it made me hate myself, wish I was never born. I started abusing my body, gave up hope and I wanted to die. then one day, she found the marks. all 68 of them. I’ve never seen a humans face turn such a vibrant red before. I could have sworn there was smoke spewing out her ears. and well, she lost it. she hit me, my cheek stung, my lip was bleeding and my eye swollen. she wouldn’t look at me for weeks. I was nothing to her. I was nothing. Everynight I would cry myself to sleep. wishing that I just wouldn’t wake up in the morning. but yet here I am.. Suffering through each day. over the years Ive learned to stand up for myself, I’m not as scared anymore. But rather than ranting on, Im going to finish this up. I’m not here for sympathy, I do’nt even care if anybody reads this, I just thought this would be a good way to vent my feelings without having to talk to someone, or without having people judge me. I am who I am, wether you like it or not is your problem. and if you really don’t like me, dont be reading my shit.
xoxoxo Kris
